First off, the Kondolay’s strapped blocks to the pedals and put a phone book under the seat cushion of Stephan’s digger so that “Little Al” Hampton would be able to see over the cowl. Once that was taken care of, Hampton jumped in and clicked off a 7.72 ET—good enough to upgrade his license! In the first round of Super Combo, Hampton—still in the dragster—was robbed when the sun reflecting off his shit-eating grin caused a red light.  The day could have ended much worse for him though when his boner got in the way of steering off track onto the return road. Boing!

Speaking of the Kondolays, Stephan predicted he’d win Super Pro and did just that on Saturday. But Sunday morning he beat up the transmission in the dragster and it was done for the weekend. In the second car swap of the weekend, Stephan jumped in Pete Bereditsch’s bitchin’ Camaro for Super Pro. Unfortunately, the old man’s tranny couldn’t take the beating and expired in the third round. When Stephan hit the burner, the car backed out of the beams for an automatic red light. Even with the loss, Stephan Kondolay is leading this seasons S/Pro points!

In other news, Zak Clarke is apparently tired of playing on the ’slow’ side of the Door Slammer ladder. He plans on dominating the ‘Dingers with a little more grunt in the Beretta this year. Zak’s quote: “It’s got the chirp!” He’ll have the Beretta and it’s new big-inch bullet out this weekend at MRP. I wonder if Zak will need to change his pants after the first blast?

Oh yeah… did you hear the news? They found MacKenzie’s trailer!

A certain un-named lazy bastard has been neglecting his duties at Surrey in A Hurry sunning himself on the beaches of Hawaii. In that time, it seems a stockpile of news has been building up.  And while all the details aren’t in, the highlight reel must include Surrey In A Hurry’s own Zak Clarke’s recent string of luck.

In back to back weekends, Zak and the Beretta have gathered up an impressive three consecutive wins and a runner up.

Details are a little sketchy on the Super Pro win, but he may have had some help over in Door Slammer… One of the two ‘Dinger wins came courtesy of Rob Charlton and his gorgeous S-10 pickup. Charlton had the Beretta covered and the race was his — until he tightened the top end up a bit too much — delivering Zak a 0.0016 stripe on a silver platter. That’s sixteen TEN thousands of a second there… probably the thickness of a sheet of paper in the lights.

Finally, the runner up also happened in Door Dinger, but this one was pretty much over from the start. Grant Howl ran his number with 6 after taking a 0.004 whack at the tree. A ten thou package in Door Slammer? Wow… nice work Grant!

In other news, to keep this thing from turning into zakinahurry.com, you folks gotta keep me up to date. Send in any news, scoops, jokes or insider stock trading tips you might have via the contact page . I promise: I’ll get it on here… when I get around to it.